TRAINING WITH IZZY KALMAN

Become a Certified Trainer

“In my 15 years as a school counselor, I have never seen a more effective social skills program. This one is pure genius.”

                                                                                                    — Jeannie Brewer, School Counselor, Snyder Elementary, Las Vegas, Nevada

 

  • Are you a counselor or therapist? Have you found that no matter how long you use your therapeutic techniques with victims of bullying, they continue to be bullied?

  • If you work in a school, have you discovered that the anti-bullying protocols you are expected to follow are doing little to reduce bullying, or even resulting in an intensification?

  • Is the “anti-bully” approach philosophically distasteful to you? Do you resent the fact that you spent years studying psychology only to be placed in the role of glorified law enforcement officer–monitoring hallways, instructing kids about “illegal” bullying behaviors, apprehending “bullies,” conducting investigations, judging kids, and meting out punishments? Would you like your school to be an educational institution rather than a law enforcement agency?

  • Or are you a public speaker who gives presentations to schools on bullying? Do you suspect that your pep talks get kids hyped up against bullying for a couple of days but have no lasting impact? Do you want an approach to bullying that actually works?

 

The Bullies to Buddies system is different. In easy to understand terms and with powerful yet fun role-plays, you will impart a different way of understanding and dealing with bullying that will enable people to handle it on their own. It is a truly psychological approach that empowers people with the social skills to deal with hostility for a lifetime. Your job satisfaction will skyrocket, as will the demand for your services.

 

As a side benefit, most people who go through the training program also discover that their own relationships improve!

 

“We at PSI were so impressed with the simplicity and common sense of the Bullies to Buddies™ program that we had to make it our own. We have partnered with Izzy Kalman and Cleveland State University to bring this program to the thousands of students that PSI serves.”

                                                                                                                     – Steve Rosenberg, Ph.D., Psychologist, President, PSI Solutions, Ohio

Workplace Training

 

The Golden Rule in the Workplace

Harmony in the Workplace Can Make Your Bottom Line Soar!

  • Do you have employees who feel bullied by bosses?

  • Do you have bosses who feel bullied by employees?

  • Do you have employees treating each other like enemies?

  • Are anger and resentment poisoning the work atmosphere?

  • Does your company provide a valuable product or service, but the bottom line is not as hefty as you think it should be?

 

If your answers to these questions are “yes,” your company needs The Golden Rule.

The success of a company is reflected in its bottom line. That requires maximum cooperation among staff.

Nothing hurts a bottom line like hostility. Rather than staff supporting each other to serve the company’s mission, they waste valuable company time and money fighting and undermining each other. Rather than focusing on the task at hand, they ruminate about the way they are being treated and contemplate how to evening up scores. Rather than looking forward to their job as a source of meaning in life, they dread coming and can’t wait to go home.

Philosophers understand that the Golden Rule is the formula for harmony. Unfortunately, we often violate the Golden Rule because it is contrary to our nature. Humans are biologically programmed for what Izzy Kalman calls The Rule of Nature and social scientists call The Law of Reciprocity: Treat others the way they treat us.

Think about it. When someone is nice to you, do you feel like being mean in return? Of course not. You feel like being nice. And when someone is mean to you, do you feel like being nice in return? No. You feel like being mean. We are all like that. It was programmed into us from our prehistoric days in nature when life was very dangerous and there were no policemen to protect us and armies to fight for us. When threatened or attacked, we needed to be aggressive in response or we’d get eaten for dinner.

However, we no longer live in Nature. We don’t eat each other for dinner and we are not allowed to injure or kill each other no matter how angry we are. When we follow the Rule of Nature in civilization, we abandon control over our relations. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice in return and we’ll be friends. But if you’re mean to me, I’ll be mean in return and we’ll be enemies.

The Golden Rule puts me in charge. I will treat you like a friend even when you treat me like an enemy. Because how long can you keep on treating me like an enemy when I consistently treat you like a friend? Before long, you’ll be treating me like a friend because you are biologically programmed to treat me the way I treat you!

 

It is not obvious how to apply The Golden Rule. It doesn’t mean that you have to give everyone everything they want, and it doesn’t mean you have to let people abuse or take advantage of you. But it means that we treat people like friends even when we have to say no to them or stop their abusive behavior. Bullies to Buddies has developed a set of counterintuitive rules for treating people like friends and uses entertaining role-playing to teach their practical application.

 

Turning Your Company into a Golden Rule Facility

Imagine what your company will be like when everyone is taught to understand The Golden Rule! People will feel they’re among friends. Bullying will cease to be an issue. Anger will dissipate and a feeling of cooperation will fill the air. Employees and bosses will have more respect for one another. People will be better able to get what they need and want from each other.

To schedule training sessions for your workplace, call Bullies to Buddies at 866-983-1333 or email us

School Training Program

 The Bullies to Buddies mission is to increase harmony in the school, home, workplace, and society at large. It is dedicated to promoting the practical application of the Golden Rule, the most effective and inexpensive way to replace hostility with harmony.

Expected Outcomes for the School

  • Substantial reduction in staff time spent dealing with discipline and bullying issues and more time teaching academics

  • Improved cooperation and communication between staff, parents and students

  • Growth in academic achievement

  • Growth in children’s resilience, independence, emotional maturity, happiness, and popularity

  • Increased appreciation for the school

How Bullies to Buddies Achieves These Results

Bullies to Buddies teaches how to understand the Golden Rule as a scientific, psychological formula and how to apply it in real life.

Bullies to Buddies provide materials and training to students, school staff, mental health professionals, and parents. Because the lessons are simple yet counterintuitive and taught largely via entertaining role-plays, they enable people to quickly understand their mistakes and how to rectify them. Rather than teaching students that they need to rely on others to protect them from each other, Bullies to Buddies teaches them how to solve their social problems on their own.

We offer training for:

  • School staff

  • Students

  • Parents

  • Mental Health Professionals

We also offer: 1) individual intensive training for school-based mental health professionals (counselors, social workers, psychologists) to become Certified Bullies to Buddies Trainers; and 2) consultation for school administrators

What the staff learns:

  • To understand the dynamics of bullying

  • How the typical adult interventions in student’s bullying incidents unwittingly result in an escalation of the bullying problem

  • How to apply “magic responses” to students’ bullying complaints that:

    • Quickly de-escalate hostilities

    • Allow teachers to spend more time on academics

    • Enable students to develop resilience and emotional maturity

    • How to quickly turn hostile students into respectful ones

    • How to cope with angry parents or colleagues

As a result, teachers’ and administrators’ job satisfaction increases. They can spend more time on academics instead of playing bully police. They are liked and respected more by students, colleagues, and parents. Many teachers even find their home lives improve as they apply the same principles with their family members.

What students learn:

  • The “optical illusion” that causes bullying

  • How to use the Golden Rule to stop being bullied without anyone’s help, including dealing with:

    • Verbal attacks

    • Rumors

    • Physical aggression and threats

    • Social exclusion

    • Cyberbullying

    • How to get along better with their parents, teachers, and siblings

    • Techniques that will unleash their sense of humor and make them more popular with their peers

As a result, kids grow in happiness, resilience, independence, and emotional maturity.

What parents learn:

  • The dynamics of bullying and how to help their kids deal with it on their own

  • How to help their own kids at home get along better with each other

  • How to get more respect and cooperation from their children

Parents become happier as their children’s social problems disappear and their home lives improve. Their appreciation for the school grows.

We offer a few low-cost options for school training (prices do not include expenses such as travel, lodging, etc.) To make the training affordable for schools, as well as to make sure they have the materials needed for continued implementation and success, the prices will cover materials, and the training (with the exception of the Certified Bullies to Buddies Training and administrator consultations) will be provided at no extra cost.