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The importance of relationships


The most important ingredient of happiness is good interpersonal relationships. When hostility comes between us and the people most important to us, life can seem pointless and depressing.


Unfortunately, many of us discover that we have ongoing difficulties with spouses, children, parents, bosses, or colleagues. Sometimes we go for months or years of therapy yet fail to improve our relationships. We may conclude that the relationship is “toxic” and should be avoided, or that the person is a “bully” who can’t stop making us miserable no matter what we do.


How The Kalman Method works


Intensive therapy can be life-changing. Often, though, our most disturbing interpersonal situations stem from nothing more than simple mistakes that need to be recognized and corrected. Months or even years of conventional therapy may fail to solve these problems if we don’t in the process learn to correct our errors.


The way Izzy explains it, many of our problems are due to simple “optical illusions.” We have animal bodies, and animals are biologically programmed to succeed and thrive in the lawless conditions of nature. However, we have been living for millennia in civilization, where the rules for success are very different. Our basic genetic makeup, though, has not changed, and we are still programmed for life in nature. Unfortunately, many of the instinctive strategies for succeeding in nature, such as anger, defense, fear, and retaliation, accomplish the opposite in civilization. Rather than putting a stop to the hostility, our actions intensify and perpetuate it. They turn us into losers and victims, destroying our relationships and our happiness.


In other words, the very things we are doing to solve our problems are actually what’s making them continue. When we stop making the mistakes, the problems fizzle away!


The Kalman Method is designed to quickly improve relations with less effort by revealing the “optical illusions” and replacing our counterproductive actions with simpler, more effective ones. We learn how not to be victims, and then it becomes harder to bully us. We turn into winners, creating a win/win situation. People respect us more and treat us better. Our self-esteem goes up and we become happier.


And even if they don’t change the way they treat us, we can still prevent them from making us miserable.

What problems is it good for?


The Kalman Method is good for any relationships or social problems that are plagued by hostility. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Bullying in school

  • Bullying at work

  • Marital discord

  • Sibling rivalry

  • Defiant children

  • Critical parents, in-laws, adult siblings, etc.


Who is it good for?


The Kalman Method is most appropriate for clients with age-appropriate life-competence, whose functioning is not impaired by serious neurological or psychiatric conditions. The typical child from the age of 8 and up can be helped. Younger children who are bright, aware and articulate can also benefit.

How long does it take?


Most people experience relief after the first session. For most people, their relationships are dramatically improved in several sessions. For some people, a couple of sessions are enough to achieve their goals.


How much does it cost?


Each practitioner of The Kalman Method sets their own fees. Izzy Kalman is the master of his method and has taught it to tens of thousands of mental health professionals throughout the US and other countries. Nevertheless, he is accessible and his fees are competitive. He lives in Israel most of the year but helps people anywhere in the world via video conference from the comfort of his home office.


Many practitioners with Izzy’s degree of experience and expertise charge from $250 to $400 for an hour session. Izzy's fee is $200, and he offers a sliding scale for those with financial hardships. Because the treatment process only requires a small number of sessions, it is easily affordable for most people. Furthermore, Izzy only works with clients as long as they are satisfied with the progress. If the method is not working for the client, Izzy ceases to schedule additional sessions and recommends the client look elsewhere for help. Thus, you will not find yourself paying for endless sessions while wondering if your situation will ever improve.


For a free consultation to discuss your situation with Izzy to determine if he is right for you, email him at



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